First, something for the non-inebriated.

An Ode to the Hizzy (Sorry It's So Long) by Elen

Let me just tell you, this poem is lame,
But in the Hizzy, there is no shame.

The Hizzy is home to rabid House lovers
It’s made up of students, workers, wives, and mothers

People get married, children get born,
There are GV’s and haikus and kumquats forlorn.

They chat and they chat all through the week,
Look! aquarian’s here for a streak!

They cane-thwap people up the wazoo
Execs, The Duffster, and James Spader, too.

Regular Tuesday ain’t good enough for them
It’s Hughsday today, you crazy old hen!

Look! It’s an Ed Harris sighting!
They even invented a new form of writing!

If you are confused, don’t throw a tizzy,
Here’s a list of the folks that inhabit the Hizzy.

Mack and Namarie, the young Wonder Twins
Whose purity atones for the others’ sins

Then there’s DB, wise for her age
Also the resident anime sage

Here’s hakirby, the Scottish stalker
Who when she’s drunk is quite the talker

mujer is lovely but crazy as heck
Mess with her and you’ll be stabbed in the neck!

Britomart, one of the Evil Three
Her hair is amazing and springy and free

Right over here, you’ll see deekay
A hooker by night and a writer by day

Gracing us with her presence is dear blue lu
She’s brought her brother Sasquatch, too

Caveman’s wife, blue artemis, rules!
But her sibs-in-law are complete tools

Snuggle Muffin, a youthful Brit,
You want a mujer flower? She’ll draw it!

Also Examorata, the cane-thwapping master
Without her my skills would be a disaster!

There’s bibliosylph, the writing queen
She can do both rap and novels pristine!

Dreamy is here, the resident poet
She’s a genius, and we all know it!

valeriel is the Hizzy recapper
While Meldraw is the Hizzytown mapper

The few men in the Hizzy we hold very dear,
unpossible, ersatz, and Zalgon are it, I fear.

There are many more in this wonderful crew,
But this poem’s so bad, people might sue

They’ve created a town, they’ve created a band,
The Hizzy’s the happiest place in the land!